Please note that the following article was published on April 1, 2011 and is fully intended to be an April Fools' Day joke.

In what is usually very unlike Apple, the company today has confirmed the countless rumors of Flash coming to the iPhone. The plugin will make its debut in the upcoming iPhone 7, slated for a release in 2013 -- a year after the world will likely come to an end. Apple CEO Steve Jobs helped clarify their decision in an interview with America's Finest News Source:

We realize that Adobe has been working incredibly hard on perfecting Adobe Flash, and Apple strongly believes that our users should be fully exposed to all content on the web. To achieve this goal, we have decided to allow Adobe Flash on iOS beginning with the release of the incredible iPhone 7. Our incredible quad-core A7 chip really makes this possible. We've been able to fit it into the 1.1mm thin smartphone thanks to some incredible engineering. We're proud to announce that the iPhone 7 will maintain an incredible seven minutes of battery life -- hence the name -- before needing to be recharged. Apple is thrilled to finally bring the magic of Flash into the hands of our incredible users. We will also be dropping support for H.264 video in Safari as part of an ongoing effort to remain as open as possible.

An anonymous source said that Adobe and Apple originally planned to begin shipping iPhones with Adobe Flash back in 2007 with the very first iPhone, but Adobe insisted on delaying the release for another six years to make sure battery life would be solid. The whole "Thoughts on Flash" thing was just a decoy.

Supposedly, the iPhone 7 will also include an enhanced Voice Control feature that will automatically print money every time a user says "a-lew-min-eum" identically to Jonathan Ive, but Apple has yet to confirm this.